Deracination- when uprooting is the norm

Nick from Nick's Catholic Blog has written something that needed to be written. About the problems that our overly mobile global society is having in family and parish life as a result of this ridiculous ease with which we uproot ourselves from our family.

Part 1: Roaming
Part 2: Roamin' Catholicism

Food for thought.

+AMDG

Where have all the Grandparents gone?

Apparently, what with people marrying and/or having children later, people are becoming grandparents at an older age. Makes sense. So "a 40-year-old mother who has to wait the average 30.6 or 40 years for her child to become a parent will be 70 or 80 by the time she herself becomes a grandparent."

This means several things:

• Parents have less support from their own parents in the raising of their children. This is true already with families scattering all over the globe, and with marriage breakdowns as common as they are, but will become even more common when grandparents are older and therefore less able to cope with the physical demands of caring for children. This makes the demands of family life more difficult to deal with. It also contributes to isolation or compartmentalisation of the family into separate units, which should instead be an organic, dynamic whole, with parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews all supporting each other and growing together.
• Children miss out on a deeper level of intimacy with their grandparents. 
• Likewise, grandparents miss out on a deeper level of intimacy with their grandchildren.
• Finally, if the children and grandparents aren't bonding, probably neither are the children's parents nourishing their relationships with their own parents. Everyone is missing out.

The article goes to great lengths to make sure women still feel comfortable with their "choice" to have children later. It calls normal grandparenting "traditional" grandparenting, because in the modern mind, anything traditional is bad (traditional marriage, religion, etc. all bad.)

It claims that all we have to do is adjust our expectations of family life, because this change isn't necessarily bad, it's just different. It's the way things are now, so we have to deal with it. There is no "ideal" family situation.

Wrong-o.

Family is a beautiful thing

This attitude is seen in the initiative mentioned at the end, wherein surrogate grandparents are recruited. Unfortunately, this merely treats the symptom (lack of grandparents) rather than the real causes (marriage breakdown, delaying children, geographic separation- this one I realise sometimes cannot be helped, but perhaps family togetherness (as well as church togetherness) could be factored into living decisions more often, rather than giving such precedence to personal comfort or preference. It is really only a result of the way the world functions now, and perhaps it is not the best way, so that perhaps is the primary cause that should be treated.)

And imagine if you were the real grandparents? Replaced, just like that!

This attitude also says that biology is unimportant. This is a part of the push for allowing same-sex couples to adopt, as well as single women to have children via sperm donation and IVF, or for couples to have children via surrogate mothers, or any other of the plethora of strange bio-ethical issues that exist today.

Reflecting on my daily routine for 2013

Something that I've been interested in for a while is the idea of having a routine to my work and prayer, such that I don't feel rushed and stressed, and that everything gets done, and my relationships with God, family and friends don't suffer.

Here are some great articles that have influenced my thinking.

On getting up early:

This is going to be a big one this year. I'd really like to start getting up at 5 or 5:30, and using that time for prayer and/or study, so that I can relax with my family in the evenings, and actually contribute to family life, by cooking dinner, chilling with everyone, etc.

Five reasons you should wake up early: http://brandonvogt.com/5-reasons-why-you-should-wake-up-early/

A night owl asks if it is objectively better to get up early: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/jennifer-fulwiler/a-night-owl-asks-is-it-objectively-better-to-get-up-early/

Admitting that I can't do everything:

I'm going to have to take stock of all the things I need to get done, prioritise them, and make sure I don't underestimate how long it takes to get stuff done. I really like the idea of scheduling in extra time for a leisurely breakfast outside on the veranda in the crisp morning air!

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/01/admitting-that-i-cant-do-it-allor-even.html

Making God the focus of my day:

I obviously won't be able to incorporate all these ideas, but it's great food for thought.

http://acatholiclife.blogspot.com.au/2006/01/daily-schedule-for-living-christ.html

The Domestic Monastery: http://www.conversiondiary.com/2012/11/the-secret-of-the-domestic-monastery.html

Prioritising the Liturgy of the Hours: http://www.conversiondiary.com/category/special-series/liturgy-of-the-hours

The last link is actually a series of posts, so if you keep scrolling down you will find there are quite a number of articles on this topic.

(Lots of these come from Jen Fulwiler's Conversion Diary, if you hadn't noticed. Her thoughts on deliberate, intentional change of lifestyle from a Catholic perspective are ones I really identify with.)

When I've decided on a definite plan, I'll let y'all know! One things holding me back is that I haven't found a job yet, and uni hasn't started, so I can't completely plan my week out.